Posted in Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know the science of Expectations and Happiness? READ ALONG

Expectations are pre concieved belief of something to happen a certain way. As a human we all tend to expect. We expect for our life to be a certain way. We expect certain people to behave as per our expectations. Some expectations are reasonable, but a lot of times the expectations are unrealistic.

We have always been told by our elders to expect less or have no expectations at all. Why is it so? Well! They are saying that out of their experience. Because often times what we expect does not really happen. Our lives does not always take the turn we expect it should. Nor do people always do what we expect them to. And when that happens we become upset and depressed. We start being resentful about the situation and people involved.

But is that going to help? Absolutely not. All it’s going to do is hurt you further. Then what can you do to better deal with such situations?

Here’s what you can do:

  • Always make it a point to not expect anything from people or events in your life. When you’ll have no expectations, you won’t feel bad any longer. A quote from Steve Hawkins below aptly describes this.

“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”

-Stephen Hawking

  • Now let’s imagine there are situation where you do expect something. Make it a point to express the expectations it take action. For example you expect to eat a cake today. So you either need to order it or make it yourself. If you are expecting someone to get cake for you, you need to let them know. Also make sure the other person is happy do do it for you. Unless you do either of the two the cake is not going to magically appear in front of you.

The same case is applicable in every expectations we have. The more we follow this principal in all walks of our life, the more peaceful, happy and content we will be.

I am really glad you read it all the way. If you liked it please hit the star button and leave a comment. It will help us reach more people and you will make my day.

Thanks have a great day.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

DID YOU KNOW: Men feel emotional as well and it is absolutely ok for them to express their feelings.

For centuries we all have been taught that men are supposed to be like a Rock – emotion less and hard. We’ve been thought men are supposed to be strong and expressing emotions are a sign of weakness and often associated it with females.

Have you seen a man crying over an emotional movie scene? Well I’m sure most of us have not. Even in the worst of situations you’ll not see them show any emotion what so ever. The reason is because they have been fed with the above belief. So they hide their feelings and emotions.

A lot of research has proven that Men are way more emotional then women. The feeling are way stronger. But because they hide their feelings it stays in them.

We all know how unexpressed emotions can lead us to mental trauma, depression and other issues. It has also been associated with major health related concerns. This is why you see the rates of suicide in Men is way higher then women. Also the rate of men dying due to heart attack and other life threatening diseases like Cancer is quite high.

But you know what, those days are gone. Please note now it is absolutely ok for Men to feel emotional and express them. It’s not a sign of weakness rather a sigh of a strong personality who is self aware and is able to let out what bothers him.

The more you express your feelings the lighter you’ll feel, the lesser burden you’ll have to carry. You’ll be more happy and content.

Here’s how you can start:

If you are one of those who cannot open to any one, you can start with a journal. Set out a day, sit in a quite room, feel every emotion and write down everything that you feel on a regular basis.

Slowly try and open up to someone close to you who will listen to you without judgement. You can choose a close family member but preferably a close friend since your family may be more susceptible to absorbing your emotions and feel sad them selves.

When you do his regularly, You’ll soon see you’ll be more open to express yourself when needed without hesitation. This is something that will have a huge positive impact on both you physical and mental health.

Have a great day ahead. Don’t forget to express.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

How “Fake it till you make it” mantra elevates your game of success?

I went to an event sometime ago which was organized by a few millennials who found some success in their startup venture. In the event they shared their success stories and experiences. After that they had an open floor for networking.

The main reason I went to the event was to meet like minded people and make valuable connections. When I went in I was fine, but by the time the experience share part was over and the floor was open for networking, my lack of confidence got the best of me.

I stood there at the corner like an idiot while others were actually meeting everyone and even connecting with the speakers. I was waiting for someone to come and talk to me which did happen but not too much avail. I left from the event feeling like an absolute failure.

When I came home I was browsing YouTube and I came across a video about a man who faked himself into I believe Milan fashion week by pretending to be a big clothing brand which actually was a regular street brand which he didn’t own. I immediately thought why don’t I give it a try.

I registered myself for the next networking event. And there I was pretending to be an absolutely confident charmer going to everyone asking questions getting to know them. By the end of the event I managed to exchange contacts with about 10 people. That was a big a achievement for me.

Here are a few things I did that day:

  • I practiced a fake smile
  • I practiced confident postures
  • I imagined myself as outgoing
  • I imagined my self as a winner
  • I imagined myself as desirable
  • I dressed myself for success
  • I pushed myself into action

Let me tell you it was not easy. It was really scary at the beginning as my mind was not ready to accept me as something I’m not. But when I began to combine all of the above together and practiced it, I was able to pull the act.

How does that work?

When you fake something as if it’s a part of you, it will make your mind start believing it and then the mind releases the feel good hormones which will in turn make you more confident.

When you fake, you make others believe that you have more to offer. This way they become keen on know more about you and there by it helps you make your way yo success.

A word of caution though, when you fake, be reasonable. When you try to fake something extremely out of the line, you actually making it clear to everyone that you are faking and it won’t help

Also when you fake something be sure to work towards fulfilling it as no one likes someone who cannot show the gold pair of shoes he says he has.

So if you dearly want something try and pretend you already have it

To be happy, smile and believe you are happy

To make more friends, appear friendly

To get the job promotion you want, project you have what it takes to succeed in the job.

Just give it a try, start simple and I’m sure you will see a ton of difference it would make in your life.

Good luck.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know What happens when you write down your feelings ? YOU WILL BE SURPRISED.

Have you had those days when you are pissed or upset for no apparent reason? Nothing significant has happened yet you are grumpy and ready to trigger!

I have had similar days quite a lot of times. And on those days, my mother says I better wear a sign stating “TRIGGER MODE ON. MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE.”

It’s funny but true. Because when someone is in that trigger zone, he or she will get easily cranked up and blast at who ever triggered him or her for even the most silly reason.

But do you know why that happens? Well! The reason could be you are not paying that much attention on our selves. When you don’t pay attention to our selves and our feelings, you actually are suppressing them instead of acknowledging. And then when you continue to do that for some time, those emotions and feelings get piled up and begin to trigger you when it reaches the saturation point.

This is where journaling or writing down our feelings can come to your rescue. Simply put you sit down in a quite place and write down everything that you are feeling at that moment. It need not necessarily be on a book. You can also write it down in a notepad in your phone, laptop or tablet. The more detailed it is the better. You can also decide the time when you would sit down and journal at your convenience.

It may be very difficult at first and it may look like you are re-living the trigger but my advice is that you continue writing everything that you are feeling. Slowly a few minutes and a few pages later you’ll see a totally different perspective.

You will soon feel more relaxed and content.

You will get a sense of acceptance to your current situation and state of mind.

You will become more aware of your emotions and how your body and mind is feeling.

It helps you subside your pent up anger and negative thoughts and you’ll look at any situation with a different mindset.

It helps you reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. Thereby improving your state of mental well being.

It promotes positive thoughts and a feeling of gratitude.

It helps your overall well being by encouraging you to take care of your self by eating good food, exercising and sleeping well.

It makes you more friendly and easy to approach.

The benefits are a ton. It’s just on when and how you start and continue it for a long time. Remember that this journal is for you and you only and be open to pour out every emotion in it.

I wish you good luck and hope you see all the positive benefits.

Happy Journaling.