Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Are you lying to your self?

Do you feel animated or inauthentic sometimes?

Do you feel like you are running away from something?

Have you encountered a situation where where your mind wants to do something but your heart says the other?

Have you encountered yourself justifying the behavior of others or your self?

Chances are, you my friend, are lying to yourself without even knowing it.

Let me explain with a few examples:

I love iPhone I feel it brings in sense of class and elegance. It gives that rich luxury feeling that we all love. But it is expensive and I don’t feel like spending that hefty sum of money on it. So I tell my self and others I don’t like it and I don’t want it.

I have put on a lot of weight recently It’s been due to me not taking care of my self, eating crap outside and doing alternate work shifts. But when someone points it out to me I get defensive and give that person some Gyan about self love and acceptance stating that I love my self the way I am etc.

But the truth is, I do want an iPhone. I do feel like crap because of my weight and body issues and I am actually not doing anything about it .

The above are just two examples. We do this to our self everyday. Most of us do it because we don’t like facing reality. We are ok to live in a dillustional world because it feels comfortable and makes us feel good about our selves. It helps us to avoid doing anything that is uncomfortable and make it convenient.

That short moment of comfort can give us life time of troubles. Living in the dillustional world like this can not only make us less mentally and emotionally connected and unclear. We begin to feel the side effects in the form of fear, anxiety, panic attacks, emotional eating, anger, racentfulness and making us less approachable. We don’t feel like an honest person or our authentic self and in the end we begin to even avoid having a conversation about it.

Here’s what we can do to get ourselves off of this:

  • We become more self aware.
  • We love our self.
  • We become in tune with our emotions and confront the exact fear.
  • We be open to opinions from friends and family.
  • We dig deep within our mind and find out the exact want?
  • Take actions

So If you want an iPhone, identify what’s stopping you from buying it and take necessary action like saving some money etc.

If it’s your health, figure out what you need to do to get back to your healthy and fit self. Start with taking small steps and move stronger as you get closer to your goal.

Apply the same to all the lies that you tell yourself and others. It’s going to be difficult for sure but then does anything that is good for us come easy?

Every step you take will move you towards a better, more authentic, happy and approachable self.

So start with this simple question

Are you lying to yourself self” If the answer is yes, do something about it.

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Dreams and Destiny, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Why Excuses can be your biggest roadblock to Success & How to overcome the habit of making Excuses?

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We all aim higher for our selves in life. We have big dreams, a lot of ambitions and expectations. But how many of us end up fulfilling them? Barely a few of us. Why? One major reason could be our Excuses.  Whenever things do not go our way or as we expected. When we fail to do something when we want to neglect to take certain responsibility, we end up making Excuses.

Excuses are great. They make us feel better about ourselves. They make it easier for us to digest our failed attempts and expectations by rationalizing the circumstances in our mind and in front of others. But in reality, all these excuses do is limit our abilities and we get stuck living in mediocrity. These excuses keep us stuck from taking actions that are necessary for succeeding.

Regularly practicing excuses can have a grave effect on our mental health by limiting the beliefs of our ability. We build imaginary walls in front of us and we do not look what’s on the other side. We avoid change and taking responsibilities. These keeps us locked in within our comfort zone. Our outlook towards life turns negative and in the and in the end all we are left with are regrets.

How do we get rid of this habit of frequently making excuses?

To eliminate excuses from our lives we must understand what these Excuses in reality are? Did we ever try to think them through? They are actually various fears we have like Fear of Failure, Fear of  Embarrassment, Fear of taking responsibility, Fear of change, Fear of making mistakes, Lack of resources and Lack of confidence. These fears generally come due to lack of understanding, experience, support, and resources.

We make excuses because we have that option. But what if there isn’t any option other than dealing with our fears and taking necessary action?  We need to be mindful about the excuses we make, understand the underlying fear and the feeling behind it. We need to deal with them in order to curb the habit. Initially, it may suck up your mental peace and calm. But it is necessary. When we make it a habit to deal with our fears and avoid making excuses, we become more confident and our abilities expand. We learn to accept change for good and take responsibilities. We begin to believe in endless possibilities and feel higher of our abilities. We thoughtfully make better judgments and have lesser regrets as a result.

I am listing down below few common excuses, the underlying fear, and the actions we should take:

Sr # Common Excuses Underlying Fear

Necessary Actions

1 I have tried it before, it doesn’t work Lack of confidence in ability

Giving up instantly

Seek for help or try to research for an alternative solution to the situation
2 I don’t have enough knowledge, experience or resources Lack of knowledge and experience where to start and what resources are needed

Fear of not being ready

Set your goals first and Resources would populate on their own when you build the action plan
3 Economy is bad/ The Job Market is bad Negative perception of external factors Do not believe everything that you hear on social media

Explore for options and alternatives

4 I’m don’t have time. Inability to manage time Identify important priority tasks and do them first.

Eliminate the aspects and activities that are unnecessary.

5 I can’t-do this Fear of failure Identify what you lack which could lead to failure and work on it

Take action

6 I’ll get to it later Fear of taking  responsibility Accept Responsibilities as they come without delaying them
7 It’s  too hard for me Lack of confidence and fear of getting out of comfort zone. Do difficult tasks first and do them regularly.

Trust your ability

8 I don’t know the right people Lack contacts and connection Find ways to network with people who can be resourceful to you. Attend networking events

These just a few excuses to name. There are a lot more excuses. All we need to do is understand the fear or feeling behind it and take necessary actions and remembering that making excuses is not an option.

Don’t look for excuses to lose. Look for excuses to win – Chi Chi Rodriguez