Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Dreams and Destiny, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Why Excuses can be your biggest roadblock to Success & How to overcome the habit of making Excuses?

shield-417826_1920

We all aim higher for our selves in life. We have big dreams, a lot of ambitions and expectations. But how many of us end up fulfilling them? Barely a few of us. Why? One major reason could be our Excuses.  Whenever things do not go our way or as we expected. When we fail to do something when we want to neglect to take certain responsibility, we end up making Excuses.

Excuses are great. They make us feel better about ourselves. They make it easier for us to digest our failed attempts and expectations by rationalizing the circumstances in our mind and in front of others. But in reality, all these excuses do is limit our abilities and we get stuck living in mediocrity. These excuses keep us stuck from taking actions that are necessary for succeeding.

Regularly practicing excuses can have a grave effect on our mental health by limiting the beliefs of our ability. We build imaginary walls in front of us and we do not look what’s on the other side. We avoid change and taking responsibilities. These keeps us locked in within our comfort zone. Our outlook towards life turns negative and in the and in the end all we are left with are regrets.

How do we get rid of this habit of frequently making excuses?

To eliminate excuses from our lives we must understand what these Excuses in reality are? Did we ever try to think them through? They are actually various fears we have like Fear of Failure, Fear of  Embarrassment, Fear of taking responsibility, Fear of change, Fear of making mistakes, Lack of resources and Lack of confidence. These fears generally come due to lack of understanding, experience, support, and resources.

We make excuses because we have that option. But what if there isn’t any option other than dealing with our fears and taking necessary action?  We need to be mindful about the excuses we make, understand the underlying fear and the feeling behind it. We need to deal with them in order to curb the habit. Initially, it may suck up your mental peace and calm. But it is necessary. When we make it a habit to deal with our fears and avoid making excuses, we become more confident and our abilities expand. We learn to accept change for good and take responsibilities. We begin to believe in endless possibilities and feel higher of our abilities. We thoughtfully make better judgments and have lesser regrets as a result.

I am listing down below few common excuses, the underlying fear, and the actions we should take:

Sr # Common Excuses Underlying Fear

Necessary Actions

1 I have tried it before, it doesn’t work Lack of confidence in ability

Giving up instantly

Seek for help or try to research for an alternative solution to the situation
2 I don’t have enough knowledge, experience or resources Lack of knowledge and experience where to start and what resources are needed

Fear of not being ready

Set your goals first and Resources would populate on their own when you build the action plan
3 Economy is bad/ The Job Market is bad Negative perception of external factors Do not believe everything that you hear on social media

Explore for options and alternatives

4 I’m don’t have time. Inability to manage time Identify important priority tasks and do them first.

Eliminate the aspects and activities that are unnecessary.

5 I can’t-do this Fear of failure Identify what you lack which could lead to failure and work on it

Take action

6 I’ll get to it later Fear of taking  responsibility Accept Responsibilities as they come without delaying them
7 It’s  too hard for me Lack of confidence and fear of getting out of comfort zone. Do difficult tasks first and do them regularly.

Trust your ability

8 I don’t know the right people Lack contacts and connection Find ways to network with people who can be resourceful to you. Attend networking events

These just a few excuses to name. There are a lot more excuses. All we need to do is understand the fear or feeling behind it and take necessary actions and remembering that making excuses is not an option.

Don’t look for excuses to lose. Look for excuses to win – Chi Chi Rodriguez 

 

Posted in Dreams and Destiny, Work and Life Fultilment

What is End Goal vs Mean Goal Concept?

target-1551521_1920

I read a self-help book recently named Selfienomics by Revant Himatsingka. It is an interesting book and I definitely recommend you check it out. This book, as Revant says, is “a seriously funny guide to living the good life” where has presented practical, sensible and hilarious advice on making your life better in every aspect. (#Not a Paid Promotion)

Of all the wonderful topics covered in the book one of the topics which grabbed my attention would be the End Goals Vs Mean Goals concept. A concept not known to many but if understood and applied correctly, it can improve your life drastically. So what is this End Goal Vs Mean Goal? Let’s have a look:

Goals play a very important role in bringing a purpose in our life. Goals help you focus, Keeps you non distracted and locked in, help you overcome procrastination, allows you to measure progress and stay motivated. Goals help you believe in yourself. A lot of us believe in goals and regularly set goals for ourselves. But one common mistake we often make is to confuse between the End Goals and Mean Goals. But in reality, there is a major difference between them.

End Goals are the desired outcomes, something we do not want to compromise on. They are the ultimate goal and not the stepping stones to anything greater. End goals define the scope of your life and provide a sense of direction.

Mean Goals, on the other hand, can be the path that you take to reach your end goals. They can be the small goals which ultimately result in achieving your ultimate goal i.e. End Goals. Mean goals are more specific goals that serve the stops you wish to take.

Confusing your End goals with Mean goals can lead to a lot of discontent and frustration when we fail to meet these goals. It often happens because we think our mean goals are what matters to us the most. End goals often are associated with being something, doing something or living a certain life. Mean goals, on the other hand, are more specific like taking steps towards reaching that goal. You may have a lot of mean goals but very few end goals. There can be more than one mean goal to reach one end goal

When you imagine the end of your life, what is that one thing you imagine people would remember you for?

Those are your ultimate goals, your End goals. Your mean goals would be taking the steps that would lead to the life that you desire people should remember you for.

If you read my 1st article on this blog “Little Precious Moments” you would see how I confused myself by considering being Rich as my End goal where in, my actual ultimate desire was to be Happy by doing stuff that mattered to me and things that I loved. Having lot of money and being rich was a mean goal.

This concept can also be applied to simpler stuff in life, for example going to Goa for a vacation during New Year can be my End Goal. Deciding the date on which I travel, make bookings, and taking the actual journey, on the other hand, would be my mean goals.

This concept if applied correctly can provide you a lot of guidance and make your life simple and more goals specific. It may be difficult initially but once you get a hang of it, nothing can stop you.