Posted in Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

8 Negative Habits that could be killing you.

When things don’t go a certain way we all may have sometime or the other questioned God or the higher power “Why Me?”
But how many of us actually look inside ourselves and check if we could be doing something that’s stopping things to happen the way we desire?
If this resonates with you then read along, as these 8 habits could be killing you and your Happiness.

  1. Being a perfectionist: A lot of us take pride in being a perfectionist. But to be honest being that way does more harm than good. When you are a perfectionist you have high expectations from your self and others, most of which may or may not be achieved and will end up making feel bad when the expectations are not met. So stop expecting everything to be perfect. Start with the best you can and grow or improve from there slowly.
  2. Seeking Others Approval: A lot of times we do things to impress others. A classic example would be dressing in the most uncomfortable clothing only to get external validation through complements. We do this in almost every aspect of our lives. But we don’t need to seek external validation. We need to be comfortable with our decisions. We need to do things that we are happy with. We need to wear clothes that we are comfortable in.
  3. Being Judgemental for Self and Others: A lot of times we are too quick to judge people without knowing the complete story. For example if someone is Fat, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she just eats and is lazy yo do anything. It may be that the person is going through an emotional trauma or a medical condition which he is unable to control. We do the same yo our selves when we fail to do something we give up saying I just can’t do it. So let’s not judge ourselves or others and focus on what can be done to help.
  4. Having Self-Doubt: Thinking “I am not good enough” has killed more dreams than any thing else. Doubting your self could be the worst thing you can do to yourself. Unless you have confidence in yourself you won’t be able to take steps that are need to move ahead in life. It is important that you believe in your self and be assertive that “You can and you will.”
  5. Trying to control everything: If you ever tried to tightly hold sand in your hand, you must know that the tighter you try to hold it, the more it drips away from the cracks. Trying to control everything also has the same results in life. A bad relationship for example. Try to let loose and let things happen on it’s own
  6. Frequent Complaining: If you complain frequently means you are focusing too much on the negative aspect of any situation. When you complain a lot it does not always give you the solution to your problems. But it definitely off puts the other person making you appear less worthy as you keep complaining. Whenever you feel the urge to complain stop, Breath and Focus on what’s good.
  7. Excessive Worrying: Nothing changes with worry. When we worry too much the only thing that gets affected is our state of well being both physical and mental. So let’s not worry so much and let things happen.
  8. Cetastrophizing the future: We always keep thinking about what may happen in future and avoid living in the present. But about 90% of times what we think does not happen so why waste our precious time and not live the moment in now.

Breaking a negative habit is like quitting to smoke. You don’t need massive actions but small changes done with persistence for a long time. So go ahead and break the chain of negativity and let the positive light in.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know What happens when you write down your feelings ? YOU WILL BE SURPRISED.

Have you had those days when you are pissed or upset for no apparent reason? Nothing significant has happened yet you are grumpy and ready to trigger!

I have had similar days quite a lot of times. And on those days, my mother says I better wear a sign stating “TRIGGER MODE ON. MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE.”

It’s funny but true. Because when someone is in that trigger zone, he or she will get easily cranked up and blast at who ever triggered him or her for even the most silly reason.

But do you know why that happens? Well! The reason could be you are not paying that much attention on our selves. When you don’t pay attention to our selves and our feelings, you actually are suppressing them instead of acknowledging. And then when you continue to do that for some time, those emotions and feelings get piled up and begin to trigger you when it reaches the saturation point.

This is where journaling or writing down our feelings can come to your rescue. Simply put you sit down in a quite place and write down everything that you are feeling at that moment. It need not necessarily be on a book. You can also write it down in a notepad in your phone, laptop or tablet. The more detailed it is the better. You can also decide the time when you would sit down and journal at your convenience.

It may be very difficult at first and it may look like you are re-living the trigger but my advice is that you continue writing everything that you are feeling. Slowly a few minutes and a few pages later you’ll see a totally different perspective.

You will soon feel more relaxed and content.

You will get a sense of acceptance to your current situation and state of mind.

You will become more aware of your emotions and how your body and mind is feeling.

It helps you subside your pent up anger and negative thoughts and you’ll look at any situation with a different mindset.

It helps you reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. Thereby improving your state of mental well being.

It promotes positive thoughts and a feeling of gratitude.

It helps your overall well being by encouraging you to take care of your self by eating good food, exercising and sleeping well.

It makes you more friendly and easy to approach.

The benefits are a ton. It’s just on when and how you start and continue it for a long time. Remember that this journal is for you and you only and be open to pour out every emotion in it.

I wish you good luck and hope you see all the positive benefits.

Happy Journaling.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

What is self esteem? How to increase your self-esteem?

Self-Esteem is an extremely important factor for every human being. The track you take in life is mostly decided by your perceived value of yourself. It’s the self-esteem that decides if you will have any situation head on with confidence or or respond with panic and curl yourself in a cocoon.

A lot of us develop low self esteem due to bad experiences like being bullied at school or dealing with prolonged criticism, bad relationship etc. The low self esteem negatively affect us making us feel not good enough,depressed, hurt, anxious, guilty and frustrated.

We all go through regular ups and downs in life but if we have high self esteem we can face the given situation properly. For people with low self esteem it may be all the difference.

But here’s the good news you can always develop your self confidence with a few slow but steady practices. Let me list a few for you that you can start with:

  1. Practice positive self talk. This helps you quiet the inner critic. You can also write a compassionate letter to your self.
  2. Take care of yourself. Eat good food, workout regularly and sleep well
  3. Practice positive visualization. Close your eyes and visualize how your life is changing positively. The more detailed the better.
  4. Help others or solve a problem. This helps developing a feeling of accomplishment and boosts your confidence.
  5. Set small goals that are achievable and take action. Reward your self for the accomplishments
  6. Connect with the higher power. This brings a flow of positivity in your live making you feel someone is there looking after you.
  7. Try creative ways to express yourself like painting, action monologues, music,poems,etc
  8. Do social service. This give you a sense of worth and boosts confidence

Good luck

Posted in Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Uncategorized, Work and Life Fultilment

Why is it important to live in present & now? 7 simple steps how you can do it?

This morning my Mom was trying a new chicken curry recipe she found online. She served it to me as she wanted feedback on how it was?

When she served it to me I was busy and preoccupied with thoughts about the soon to come appraisal at my office. Multiple stories of interactions were running in my mind on how it might and might not go.

I ate the food hurriedly and missed on actually tasting the food properly. So when she asked me how it was? I paused for a moment and just said “It was good” But then she caught me off guard with another question “Was it better than the other chicken curry I prepare regularly?” I had no answer. I just said yes and pushed away from there.

I was so caught up worrying about the appraisal that I forgot to enjoy the lovely food she gave me. I realized, this is what we always do. We are always busy replaying the events from the past both good and bad and overthinking about future events.

Reality Check: Those past events have already occurred and cannot be changed and most of future events we imagined won’t happen. But the time we waste thinking about past and worrying about future is actually the time in Present and now that we are wasting.

The present moment is like a stream of river which keeps on moving. The moment you get distracted you miss on enjoying the awesomeness it carries. You cannot hold it or stop it as it would just pass. But one thing you can do is stop being sad for the past and worrying for the future and live in the present and enjoy it to the fullest.

This definitely doesn’t mean you don’t dreams for your future. You absolutely can. But do the mindful work to achieve it in the present.

When we begin to live in the present, is when we start to experience all sorts of beautiful things, like enjoying the food we it, you observe the smiling face of your little one, you are more at peace and work better for me your future, you get in tune with yourself and others.

Here are a few steps on how you can live in the present:

  1. Love yourself and practice gratitude. Be thankful for the day and appreciate everything you achieved today
  2. Forgive yourself and don’t dwell in the past. If there are any events that bother you from the past forgive it .
  3. Don’t worry about the future rather imagine your future self and work for it today.
  4. Meditate and practice mindfulness. Concentrate on you breathing. Be mindful of your emotions and address the ones that needs attention.
  5. Observe your surroundings. Looks the kids playing, the lady selling flowers at the toad side. Give them a smile. You’ll make their hour for sure.
  6. Eat mindfully, Savor every thing that you are eating. Concentrate on the burst of flavour in your mouth.
  7. Get rid of distractions that take you away from the present moment.

You can start with these simple habits at just 5 mins a day and gradually grow. You will soon see how everything calms down, you see your problems getting smaller and are able to deal with them better. You are able to enjoy little precious moments. You savour the healthy relationship you build and much more.

If you want to understand more about living in present I’d recommend you read my favorite book on the topic Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Take care and be present.