Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

What is self esteem? How to increase your self-esteem?

Self-Esteem is an extremely important factor for every human being. The track you take in life is mostly decided by your perceived value of yourself. It’s the self-esteem that decides if you will have any situation head on with confidence or or respond with panic and curl yourself in a cocoon.

A lot of us develop low self esteem due to bad experiences like being bullied at school or dealing with prolonged criticism, bad relationship etc. The low self esteem negatively affect us making us feel not good enough,depressed, hurt, anxious, guilty and frustrated.

We all go through regular ups and downs in life but if we have high self esteem we can face the given situation properly. For people with low self esteem it may be all the difference.

But here’s the good news you can always develop your self confidence with a few slow but steady practices. Let me list a few for you that you can start with:

  1. Practice positive self talk. This helps you quiet the inner critic. You can also write a compassionate letter to your self.
  2. Take care of yourself. Eat good food, workout regularly and sleep well
  3. Practice positive visualization. Close your eyes and visualize how your life is changing positively. The more detailed the better.
  4. Help others or solve a problem. This helps developing a feeling of accomplishment and boosts your confidence.
  5. Set small goals that are achievable and take action. Reward your self for the accomplishments
  6. Connect with the higher power. This brings a flow of positivity in your live making you feel someone is there looking after you.
  7. Try creative ways to express yourself like painting, action monologues, music,poems,etc
  8. Do social service. This give you a sense of worth and boosts confidence

Good luck

Posted in Belief, Happiness, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

HAPPINESS is a choice. It’s you who decides what to choose?

There is a viral pic Facebook which you may or may not seen. In the photo three kids standing on the podium after a race ranking 1st 2nd and 3rd. In that pic the boy that came 3rd is extremely happy and is showing off the small trophy that he received. On the other hand the girl on 1st position is seen crying though she has a bigger trophy and clearly won. This pic had a quote “Happiness is a Choice.”

The pic resonated with me but I did not pay much attention to it until one day when I got stuck in rain while on my way to work. It was bright and sunny when I started for work on my bike. Except the slow moving traffic everything seemed absolutely fine until a chain of dark clouds covered the sun and soon started pouring like cats and dogs.

Everything fine then changed to ugly and unpleasant. I had to stop by a shade under the bridge near a traffic signal. I was so not prepared for the rain and was furious that I got drenched and that I’d be late for office. Just next to me there were a few homeless kids playing. They were dancing and playing in the water enjoying the rain. One kid in between raised his hands wide open facing up towards the sky while circling around.

That very action brought back a slow motion visual of my younger self when I did the same. I enjoyed the rain so much back then that I called Rainy season my favorite season. And till date I remember Everytime it rained, I used to run to the terrace and raise my hand the same way and look up in the sky to embrace the beautiful rain.

Coming back to that day, the kid looked so happy and was living in the moment with no sign of any worry what so ever. And on the other hand I was looking all grumpy just until I saw him doing that thing which made me realize it’s just me. It is my choice for how I feel during any given situation. I now could relate to the pic I spoke about earlier.

I then started my bike and headed to work slowly riding and enjoying the lovely rain drops falling on my face. I had a big smile on my face and was filled with joy. I wasn’t bothered about the discomfort getting drenched would cause later. What mattered in that moment was I relived my childhood happiness without caring of anything else.

What I want to convey from this is that it is our choice on how we respond to any given situation. It may be same for someone else as well. How we respond, desides the emotion that comes out of it. So look at the bright side and choose Happiness Everytime you can.

Stay Happy ! Stay Cheerful!!

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Happiness, Letting Go, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

The art of Self Love!!!

When I was in school, I went through a very bad phase until I reached 7th grade.Most of my classmates were children of rich and famous in my hometown. My classmates would not eat lunch with me because I was not from their socio economic status. They would not be with me as my clothes didn’t look as polished as them. They would not sit besides me and often times they bullied me and made me feel pathetic about my self. Almost everyday I ate alone and the feeling was miserable.

That phase left a black mark in my head. It made me feel worthless and it stopped me from loving myself until recently. It was really hard for me, to accept appreciation from someone because my subconscious mind was not used to it. I’d straight up say you are joking right?

It also stopped me from accepting love and care from others. I’d always think I need to do things for others for them to be with me otherwise I don’t deserve them.

This also affected me adversely in my career. As I did not push hard for the promotion I should have got or asked for a better hike because I felt I didn’t deserve.

I’d look at myself in the mirror and hate my self for how I looked and trust me, I looked much! much!! much!! better then how I look now. Yet, I always managed to find flaws in my self and feel sad for that.

But as they say, everything has a saturation point. When you reach that point, you start believing in the art of not giving a f–k. I did too. After dealing with a lot of nonsense in my life time and again. I realized I was being the self sabotage that was not allowing me grow. So I decided I’d start practicing self love.

Practicing self love is extremely important. Because if we don’t love ourselves we cannot expect others to love us the way we want.

Here how I started practicing self love and you can too:

  • First and foremost forgive yourself and circumstances.
  • Look inside your self and embrace yourself for who you authentically are. And be that.
  • Start a self care routine by sleeping 8 hrs everyday, working out regularly, eating good food, meditating, giving your self a good massage or spa treat, etc.
  • Be mindful about your feelings and Journal them regularly. At times self love may not be easy. If you write down your feelings you may feel lighter and charged to continue
  • Practice gratitude and be thankful for everything you have in life.
  • Make a list of everything that you love about your self and go through it regularly.
  • At the end of everyday review your achievements and wins for the day. This would give you a feeling if accomplishment.

You can include all of these or add others that you feel can be beneficial for you. But start slow and be patient.

You’ll slowly start seeing the benefits of practicing self love. You’ll be more happy and cheerful and more accepting towards love.

So don’t forget to go in front of the mirror and say it to your self. I love you. You are fabulous and perfect. You deserve love and everything special in this world.

Happy Self Love to you.

Posted in Belief, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

Learn to disappoint – You don’t need to be a people pleaser all the time

People Pleasing by definition it self means changing ourselves for others just to feel a sense of belonging, to impress others, to get others approval, to not disappoint them and make them happy.

If we read above definition carefully, everything we are doing is for others.

Almost everyday we take hundreds of selfies, but only post the one or two we feel would get the most number of likes.

Often times at work, as I referred in my previous blogs, we tend to over commit only to be in good light of someone, even when we didn’t have the feasibility and wanted to say no.

We have a lot of clothes in our closet, yet choosing what to wear for an event gives us jitters.

Often times we go against our will and do certain things like choosing career that we don’t like just because our parents think it’s safe and better for us.

A lot of us go though a phase in life which leads us to believe we need to be people pleasing all the time because we don’tont want to disappoint them or in order to be with them, for them to like or respect us.

Does it help? It rarely does. Rather it make those people we are trying to impress loose the respect they had for us because we couldn’t take a stand. At times they tend to use us for their own good. And in the end if we fail, they’d be disappointed anyways

Whats more important than caring about others is, we take a look inside ourselves. Because from inside we feel miserable since we are not doing what our hearts feels is right for us. This makes us further less confident and strengthens our beliefs that someone will only stay in our lives or we will only get success at work, if we behave a certain way or do certain things.

But that’s not true. You don’t need to be doing that all the time. You don’t need to impress others, you don’t need to pick a career or a job that you don’t like,You don’t need to dress to impress others

All you need to to is impress your self, and make yourself happy and content.
So it’s ok to disappoint others
Its ok if you say no to things you don’t want to do.
It’s ok if you want to wear a loose fitting dress at the party.
It’s ok to leave a job or career that you don’t like.
It’s ok to leave if someone is not willing to accept you the way you are.

Just be you and be happy 😊 because that’s what matters the most!!