Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

How “Fake it till you make it” mantra elevates your game of success?

I went to an event sometime ago which was organized by a few millennials who found some success in their startup venture. In the event they shared their success stories and experiences. After that they had an open floor for networking.

The main reason I went to the event was to meet like minded people and make valuable connections. When I went in I was fine, but by the time the experience share part was over and the floor was open for networking, my lack of confidence got the best of me.

I stood there at the corner like an idiot while others were actually meeting everyone and even connecting with the speakers. I was waiting for someone to come and talk to me which did happen but not too much avail. I left from the event feeling like an absolute failure.

When I came home I was browsing YouTube and I came across a video about a man who faked himself into I believe Milan fashion week by pretending to be a big clothing brand which actually was a regular street brand which he didn’t own. I immediately thought why don’t I give it a try.

I registered myself for the next networking event. And there I was pretending to be an absolutely confident charmer going to everyone asking questions getting to know them. By the end of the event I managed to exchange contacts with about 10 people. That was a big a achievement for me.

Here are a few things I did that day:

  • I practiced a fake smile
  • I practiced confident postures
  • I imagined myself as outgoing
  • I imagined my self as a winner
  • I imagined myself as desirable
  • I dressed myself for success
  • I pushed myself into action

Let me tell you it was not easy. It was really scary at the beginning as my mind was not ready to accept me as something I’m not. But when I began to combine all of the above together and practiced it, I was able to pull the act.

How does that work?

When you fake something as if it’s a part of you, it will make your mind start believing it and then the mind releases the feel good hormones which will in turn make you more confident.

When you fake, you make others believe that you have more to offer. This way they become keen on know more about you and there by it helps you make your way yo success.

A word of caution though, when you fake, be reasonable. When you try to fake something extremely out of the line, you actually making it clear to everyone that you are faking and it won’t help

Also when you fake something be sure to work towards fulfilling it as no one likes someone who cannot show the gold pair of shoes he says he has.

So if you dearly want something try and pretend you already have it

To be happy, smile and believe you are happy

To make more friends, appear friendly

To get the job promotion you want, project you have what it takes to succeed in the job.

Just give it a try, start simple and I’m sure you will see a ton of difference it would make in your life.

Good luck.

Posted in Change and Challenges, Happiness, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

8 tips on how to quit comparing yourself with others

Let’s admit we all are guilty of comparison. We do it every day and we do it frequently. It is extremely difficult not to compare when you live in the world where you are surrounded by so many people who only want to show their best foot forward.

Has it happened to you? You logged in to social media and immediately images pop up of someone who has recently been on a vacation that you wanted to go. Or someone who is having a blast on weekend?

What did you do? How did you feel? Did you say something about it in your mind? I’m sure you did. I do it too. And then I feel bad, jealous or resentful.

When we compare ourselves to others we are looking at what we don’t have, or what we are not able to do. And that is one straight path to Misery Land, which my friend is totally opposite to the La La Land.

But then if it’s that bad how do we stop comparing ourselves to others? Here are 8 steps on how to stop comparing yourself to others:

  1. Focus on what you have: The first thing is we need to do is look at our life inventory and list everything that we have. A family to care, a steady job, a roof to live under etc.
  2. Look at someone who’s not been lucky: The next good way to feel content is look at someone who’s not been that lucky and has to struggle with family, for food, at job etc. When you look at then your problems seem petty.
  3. Practice Gratitude: Now that you have a list of everything that you have be thankful for it. You’ll notice when you start doing this you’ll find more and more things to be grateful for.
  4. Remember comparing is senseless: We all have a different life and we deal with different situations. We don’t know about others journey or struggles. So how can everything we have be same?
  5. Do not measure a fish for it’s ability to fly: If we judge ourselves for something that we are clearly not capable to do, we are setting ourselves up for failure. We can expect a fish to swim and not fly. So let’s focus on our abilities instead of incapabilities
  6. Remember social media is a lie: Often times we get triggered to compare when we are on social media randomly scrolling through the feed. But remember most of us only post the best of our moments often times with filters and editing. Go for social media detox and only use it purposefully. You’ll feel much better and lighter.
  7. Avoid conversations that could trigger: Other then social media stay away from conversations that could lead to comparison. Be it about your or someone’s life, salary or something else. It’s extremely difficult due to social etiquettes however try as much as possible.
  8. Remember your time will come: Today might not be the day that you have the things that you desire but there will be one day for sure. Just fucus on that and stay persistent. Slowly and steadily you’ll have everything that you want. You’ll do everything that you desire and you’ll be with everyone that you want to be with.

Cheers.

Posted in Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

8 Negative Habits that could be killing you.

When things don’t go a certain way we all may have sometime or the other questioned God or the higher power “Why Me?”
But how many of us actually look inside ourselves and check if we could be doing something that’s stopping things to happen the way we desire?
If this resonates with you then read along, as these 8 habits could be killing you and your Happiness.

  1. Being a perfectionist: A lot of us take pride in being a perfectionist. But to be honest being that way does more harm than good. When you are a perfectionist you have high expectations from your self and others, most of which may or may not be achieved and will end up making feel bad when the expectations are not met. So stop expecting everything to be perfect. Start with the best you can and grow or improve from there slowly.
  2. Seeking Others Approval: A lot of times we do things to impress others. A classic example would be dressing in the most uncomfortable clothing only to get external validation through complements. We do this in almost every aspect of our lives. But we don’t need to seek external validation. We need to be comfortable with our decisions. We need to do things that we are happy with. We need to wear clothes that we are comfortable in.
  3. Being Judgemental for Self and Others: A lot of times we are too quick to judge people without knowing the complete story. For example if someone is Fat, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she just eats and is lazy yo do anything. It may be that the person is going through an emotional trauma or a medical condition which he is unable to control. We do the same yo our selves when we fail to do something we give up saying I just can’t do it. So let’s not judge ourselves or others and focus on what can be done to help.
  4. Having Self-Doubt: Thinking “I am not good enough” has killed more dreams than any thing else. Doubting your self could be the worst thing you can do to yourself. Unless you have confidence in yourself you won’t be able to take steps that are need to move ahead in life. It is important that you believe in your self and be assertive that “You can and you will.”
  5. Trying to control everything: If you ever tried to tightly hold sand in your hand, you must know that the tighter you try to hold it, the more it drips away from the cracks. Trying to control everything also has the same results in life. A bad relationship for example. Try to let loose and let things happen on it’s own
  6. Frequent Complaining: If you complain frequently means you are focusing too much on the negative aspect of any situation. When you complain a lot it does not always give you the solution to your problems. But it definitely off puts the other person making you appear less worthy as you keep complaining. Whenever you feel the urge to complain stop, Breath and Focus on what’s good.
  7. Excessive Worrying: Nothing changes with worry. When we worry too much the only thing that gets affected is our state of well being both physical and mental. So let’s not worry so much and let things happen.
  8. Cetastrophizing the future: We always keep thinking about what may happen in future and avoid living in the present. But about 90% of times what we think does not happen so why waste our precious time and not live the moment in now.

Breaking a negative habit is like quitting to smoke. You don’t need massive actions but small changes done with persistence for a long time. So go ahead and break the chain of negativity and let the positive light in.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know What happens when you write down your feelings ? YOU WILL BE SURPRISED.

Have you had those days when you are pissed or upset for no apparent reason? Nothing significant has happened yet you are grumpy and ready to trigger!

I have had similar days quite a lot of times. And on those days, my mother says I better wear a sign stating “TRIGGER MODE ON. MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE.”

It’s funny but true. Because when someone is in that trigger zone, he or she will get easily cranked up and blast at who ever triggered him or her for even the most silly reason.

But do you know why that happens? Well! The reason could be you are not paying that much attention on our selves. When you don’t pay attention to our selves and our feelings, you actually are suppressing them instead of acknowledging. And then when you continue to do that for some time, those emotions and feelings get piled up and begin to trigger you when it reaches the saturation point.

This is where journaling or writing down our feelings can come to your rescue. Simply put you sit down in a quite place and write down everything that you are feeling at that moment. It need not necessarily be on a book. You can also write it down in a notepad in your phone, laptop or tablet. The more detailed it is the better. You can also decide the time when you would sit down and journal at your convenience.

It may be very difficult at first and it may look like you are re-living the trigger but my advice is that you continue writing everything that you are feeling. Slowly a few minutes and a few pages later you’ll see a totally different perspective.

You will soon feel more relaxed and content.

You will get a sense of acceptance to your current situation and state of mind.

You will become more aware of your emotions and how your body and mind is feeling.

It helps you subside your pent up anger and negative thoughts and you’ll look at any situation with a different mindset.

It helps you reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. Thereby improving your state of mental well being.

It promotes positive thoughts and a feeling of gratitude.

It helps your overall well being by encouraging you to take care of your self by eating good food, exercising and sleeping well.

It makes you more friendly and easy to approach.

The benefits are a ton. It’s just on when and how you start and continue it for a long time. Remember that this journal is for you and you only and be open to pour out every emotion in it.

I wish you good luck and hope you see all the positive benefits.

Happy Journaling.