Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know What happens when you write down your feelings ? YOU WILL BE SURPRISED.

Have you had those days when you are pissed or upset for no apparent reason? Nothing significant has happened yet you are grumpy and ready to trigger!

I have had similar days quite a lot of times. And on those days, my mother says I better wear a sign stating “TRIGGER MODE ON. MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE.”

It’s funny but true. Because when someone is in that trigger zone, he or she will get easily cranked up and blast at who ever triggered him or her for even the most silly reason.

But do you know why that happens? Well! The reason could be you are not paying that much attention on our selves. When you don’t pay attention to our selves and our feelings, you actually are suppressing them instead of acknowledging. And then when you continue to do that for some time, those emotions and feelings get piled up and begin to trigger you when it reaches the saturation point.

This is where journaling or writing down our feelings can come to your rescue. Simply put you sit down in a quite place and write down everything that you are feeling at that moment. It need not necessarily be on a book. You can also write it down in a notepad in your phone, laptop or tablet. The more detailed it is the better. You can also decide the time when you would sit down and journal at your convenience.

It may be very difficult at first and it may look like you are re-living the trigger but my advice is that you continue writing everything that you are feeling. Slowly a few minutes and a few pages later you’ll see a totally different perspective.

You will soon feel more relaxed and content.

You will get a sense of acceptance to your current situation and state of mind.

You will become more aware of your emotions and how your body and mind is feeling.

It helps you subside your pent up anger and negative thoughts and you’ll look at any situation with a different mindset.

It helps you reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. Thereby improving your state of mental well being.

It promotes positive thoughts and a feeling of gratitude.

It helps your overall well being by encouraging you to take care of your self by eating good food, exercising and sleeping well.

It makes you more friendly and easy to approach.

The benefits are a ton. It’s just on when and how you start and continue it for a long time. Remember that this journal is for you and you only and be open to pour out every emotion in it.

I wish you good luck and hope you see all the positive benefits.

Happy Journaling.

Posted in Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Uncategorized, Work and Life Fultilment

Why is it important to live in present & now? 7 simple steps how you can do it?

This morning my Mom was trying a new chicken curry recipe she found online. She served it to me as she wanted feedback on how it was?

When she served it to me I was busy and preoccupied with thoughts about the soon to come appraisal at my office. Multiple stories of interactions were running in my mind on how it might and might not go.

I ate the food hurriedly and missed on actually tasting the food properly. So when she asked me how it was? I paused for a moment and just said “It was good” But then she caught me off guard with another question “Was it better than the other chicken curry I prepare regularly?” I had no answer. I just said yes and pushed away from there.

I was so caught up worrying about the appraisal that I forgot to enjoy the lovely food she gave me. I realized, this is what we always do. We are always busy replaying the events from the past both good and bad and overthinking about future events.

Reality Check: Those past events have already occurred and cannot be changed and most of future events we imagined won’t happen. But the time we waste thinking about past and worrying about future is actually the time in Present and now that we are wasting.

The present moment is like a stream of river which keeps on moving. The moment you get distracted you miss on enjoying the awesomeness it carries. You cannot hold it or stop it as it would just pass. But one thing you can do is stop being sad for the past and worrying for the future and live in the present and enjoy it to the fullest.

This definitely doesn’t mean you don’t dreams for your future. You absolutely can. But do the mindful work to achieve it in the present.

When we begin to live in the present, is when we start to experience all sorts of beautiful things, like enjoying the food we it, you observe the smiling face of your little one, you are more at peace and work better for me your future, you get in tune with yourself and others.

Here are a few steps on how you can live in the present:

  1. Love yourself and practice gratitude. Be thankful for the day and appreciate everything you achieved today
  2. Forgive yourself and don’t dwell in the past. If there are any events that bother you from the past forgive it .
  3. Don’t worry about the future rather imagine your future self and work for it today.
  4. Meditate and practice mindfulness. Concentrate on you breathing. Be mindful of your emotions and address the ones that needs attention.
  5. Observe your surroundings. Looks the kids playing, the lady selling flowers at the toad side. Give them a smile. You’ll make their hour for sure.
  6. Eat mindfully, Savor every thing that you are eating. Concentrate on the burst of flavour in your mouth.
  7. Get rid of distractions that take you away from the present moment.

You can start with these simple habits at just 5 mins a day and gradually grow. You will soon see how everything calms down, you see your problems getting smaller and are able to deal with them better. You are able to enjoy little precious moments. You savour the healthy relationship you build and much more.

If you want to understand more about living in present I’d recommend you read my favorite book on the topic Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Take care and be present.

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Happiness, Letting Go, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

The art of Self Love!!!

When I was in school, I went through a very bad phase until I reached 7th grade.Most of my classmates were children of rich and famous in my hometown. My classmates would not eat lunch with me because I was not from their socio economic status. They would not be with me as my clothes didn’t look as polished as them. They would not sit besides me and often times they bullied me and made me feel pathetic about my self. Almost everyday I ate alone and the feeling was miserable.

That phase left a black mark in my head. It made me feel worthless and it stopped me from loving myself until recently. It was really hard for me, to accept appreciation from someone because my subconscious mind was not used to it. I’d straight up say you are joking right?

It also stopped me from accepting love and care from others. I’d always think I need to do things for others for them to be with me otherwise I don’t deserve them.

This also affected me adversely in my career. As I did not push hard for the promotion I should have got or asked for a better hike because I felt I didn’t deserve.

I’d look at myself in the mirror and hate my self for how I looked and trust me, I looked much! much!! much!! better then how I look now. Yet, I always managed to find flaws in my self and feel sad for that.

But as they say, everything has a saturation point. When you reach that point, you start believing in the art of not giving a f–k. I did too. After dealing with a lot of nonsense in my life time and again. I realized I was being the self sabotage that was not allowing me grow. So I decided I’d start practicing self love.

Practicing self love is extremely important. Because if we don’t love ourselves we cannot expect others to love us the way we want.

Here how I started practicing self love and you can too:

  • First and foremost forgive yourself and circumstances.
  • Look inside your self and embrace yourself for who you authentically are. And be that.
  • Start a self care routine by sleeping 8 hrs everyday, working out regularly, eating good food, meditating, giving your self a good massage or spa treat, etc.
  • Be mindful about your feelings and Journal them regularly. At times self love may not be easy. If you write down your feelings you may feel lighter and charged to continue
  • Practice gratitude and be thankful for everything you have in life.
  • Make a list of everything that you love about your self and go through it regularly.
  • At the end of everyday review your achievements and wins for the day. This would give you a feeling if accomplishment.

You can include all of these or add others that you feel can be beneficial for you. But start slow and be patient.

You’ll slowly start seeing the benefits of practicing self love. You’ll be more happy and cheerful and more accepting towards love.

So don’t forget to go in front of the mirror and say it to your self. I love you. You are fabulous and perfect. You deserve love and everything special in this world.

Happy Self Love to you.

Posted in Belief, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

Learn to disappoint – You don’t need to be a people pleaser all the time

People Pleasing by definition it self means changing ourselves for others just to feel a sense of belonging, to impress others, to get others approval, to not disappoint them and make them happy.

If we read above definition carefully, everything we are doing is for others.

Almost everyday we take hundreds of selfies, but only post the one or two we feel would get the most number of likes.

Often times at work, as I referred in my previous blogs, we tend to over commit only to be in good light of someone, even when we didn’t have the feasibility and wanted to say no.

We have a lot of clothes in our closet, yet choosing what to wear for an event gives us jitters.

Often times we go against our will and do certain things like choosing career that we don’t like just because our parents think it’s safe and better for us.

A lot of us go though a phase in life which leads us to believe we need to be people pleasing all the time because we don’tont want to disappoint them or in order to be with them, for them to like or respect us.

Does it help? It rarely does. Rather it make those people we are trying to impress loose the respect they had for us because we couldn’t take a stand. At times they tend to use us for their own good. And in the end if we fail, they’d be disappointed anyways

Whats more important than caring about others is, we take a look inside ourselves. Because from inside we feel miserable since we are not doing what our hearts feels is right for us. This makes us further less confident and strengthens our beliefs that someone will only stay in our lives or we will only get success at work, if we behave a certain way or do certain things.

But that’s not true. You don’t need to be doing that all the time. You don’t need to impress others, you don’t need to pick a career or a job that you don’t like,You don’t need to dress to impress others

All you need to to is impress your self, and make yourself happy and content.
So it’s ok to disappoint others
Its ok if you say no to things you don’t want to do.
It’s ok if you want to wear a loose fitting dress at the party.
It’s ok to leave a job or career that you don’t like.
It’s ok to leave if someone is not willing to accept you the way you are.

Just be you and be happy 😊 because that’s what matters the most!!