Posted in Belief, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

Learn to disappoint – You don’t need to be a people pleaser all the time

People Pleasing by definition it self means changing ourselves for others just to feel a sense of belonging, to impress others, to get others approval, to not disappoint them and make them happy.

If we read above definition carefully, everything we are doing is for others.

Almost everyday we take hundreds of selfies, but only post the one or two we feel would get the most number of likes.

Often times at work, as I referred in my previous blogs, we tend to over commit only to be in good light of someone, even when we didn’t have the feasibility and wanted to say no.

We have a lot of clothes in our closet, yet choosing what to wear for an event gives us jitters.

Often times we go against our will and do certain things like choosing career that we don’t like just because our parents think it’s safe and better for us.

A lot of us go though a phase in life which leads us to believe we need to be people pleasing all the time because we don’tont want to disappoint them or in order to be with them, for them to like or respect us.

Does it help? It rarely does. Rather it make those people we are trying to impress loose the respect they had for us because we couldn’t take a stand. At times they tend to use us for their own good. And in the end if we fail, they’d be disappointed anyways

Whats more important than caring about others is, we take a look inside ourselves. Because from inside we feel miserable since we are not doing what our hearts feels is right for us. This makes us further less confident and strengthens our beliefs that someone will only stay in our lives or we will only get success at work, if we behave a certain way or do certain things.

But that’s not true. You don’t need to be doing that all the time. You don’t need to impress others, you don’t need to pick a career or a job that you don’t like,You don’t need to dress to impress others

All you need to to is impress your self, and make yourself happy and content.
So it’s ok to disappoint others
Its ok if you say no to things you don’t want to do.
It’s ok if you want to wear a loose fitting dress at the party.
It’s ok to leave a job or career that you don’t like.
It’s ok to leave if someone is not willing to accept you the way you are.

Just be you and be happy 😊 because that’s what matters the most!!

Posted in Change and Challenges, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

What happens when you don’t take action?

Dreams are a big part of everyone’s life. We all imagine to be somewhere, to be better that today, to be at a better place than we are today. But sadly not all of us End up fulfilling those dreams.

What could be it? What makes those few people different from the rest? Is it that they’ve been gifted with special powers? Well that’s questionable. If there’s one thing that separates them from the rest is that they dream and take actions to fulfill those dreams

There are millions of self help books that can show you how to be successful, but they won’t help unless we take actions necessary for it.

Let’s annalise a hypothetical situation:

Say you work for a multinational corporate which pays you decent enough. But then you are not happy. You are not interested in working in a corporate, having round the clock shifts working to fulfill someone else’s dream, or having a affixed income.

You aspire to become a renauned photographer. You want people look up to you and have your work publishedin major publications and online fanbase. You login to Instagram and there are thousands of photographers posting their best work. You aspire to be popular like them and want to work on your own terms.

But then, you also think you are not good enough. You think that you may fail. And that very thought intimidates you and you avoid taking actions you need to take.

What could happen if you fail?

To be honest the worst thing that could happen is you realize that it’s not working for you. But in the process you may find something else that interests you.

Wouldn’t it be better to have tried and failed then not having done anything about it at all?

You would never know what could happen? unless you do.

You won’t go though the thrill of doing something towards you dream

You would never learn all the lessons in the process

You will never taste success and how it feels to be a renauned photographer who is published on major publications.

You will never get to experience how it feels when people look up to you?

You will continue to doubt your self and stay at the corporate job that you don’t like anyway.

You’ll end up being resentful, hateful and unapproachable. I turn it may affect the corporate job as well.

But that’s all if you don’t take action. Visualize what would happen if you do get successul. Imagine how your life will change? And With that thought in mind take the actions and see how your life changes. In the end you’ll be content that you did something for your dreams.

 

Good luck.

Posted in Change and Challenges, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

Why should you surround your self with successful people? 13 steps to find and surround your self with Successful people.

analytics-2697949_1920It’s 2017 and finding success these days has become really difficult. A lot of us want to be successful but merely a single digit percentage of people actually succeed. We feel sad about our failures but barely learn anything from it and try to look around for ways that can bring us closer to success.

One of the crucial steps that most of us go wrong with is that we surround our selves with people who are just like us or that are equally successful or unsuccessful. Just look around, what kind of people are you surrounding your self with? Are they someone with extraordinary talent? Or someone who earns way more than you? or someone who has succeeded in multiple ventures?

If that’s the set of people that surround you? you are on the right track. But since you are reading this article, I assume (please excuse me for judging) that not 100% the case. The reason why this is the case is that we feel uncomfortable in the company of more successful people. We feel uncomfortable because it makes us feel bad, it makes us feel low about our selves, it makes us feel dumb and stupid and in all it makes us feel like a failure. But let’s be real, isn’t that the case already?  We choose to be with mediocre people because we don’t like getting uncomfortable. It’s an escapist strategy that leads us nowhere.

If you want to be successful, surround your self with people who are more successful than you, those who earn more money than you and those who are intellectually way wiser and stronger than you. This is one of the fastest ways to succeed. The more you surround your self with these kind of people, the feeling of being uncomfortable with itself make you contemplate your actions and priorities. Their experience give you a lot to learn. You begin to take charge of your situation and take actions to make it better.

Following steps can help you surround your self with successful people:

A) Get rid of mediocre people in your life:

  1. Rate your self out of 10 (10 being the highest) in various aspects of life.
  2. Identify where you want to be
  3. Now rate the people that surround you on the same aspects.
  4. Let loose the people who score same as you or less than you in each aspect.
  5. Remember the rule of thumb if there is someone constantly complaining about situations instead of taking charge, they are the people who you should let loose first.
  6. This may be difficult when performing this with your family members. But try and slowly cut down the time you spend with them. This would be crucial for your success.

B) Identify the successful influential people and connect with them:

  1. Identify what do you want to succeed at?
  2. Find the right people who can be of help in getting you where you want to be. For example, if you want to be rich, surround your self with someone who earns way more than you. If you want to be fit, surround your self with someone who is way more fit and healthy.
  3. Ideally one should have a diverse set of people to look up to.
  4. You can  attend seminars, networking events, social groups
  5. Confidently approach the right people. Ensure to not appear like a leach who is there to suck up on their success and hard work
  6. Identify if they have any ongoing concerns that you may possibly help them with and Offer to help. They would really appreciate it and reciprocate at times.
  7. Don’t forget to follow up and stay in touch with people you meet at events.

Doing this may be nerve-wracking at times as you sometimes may feel that you do not offer much worth to those highly successful people. But if you stay consistent you should soon see the difference.

One last thing: If you like this post, please like it and share it to spread the word 🙂

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Dreams and Destiny, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Why Excuses can be your biggest roadblock to Success & How to overcome the habit of making Excuses?

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We all aim higher for our selves in life. We have big dreams, a lot of ambitions and expectations. But how many of us end up fulfilling them? Barely a few of us. Why? One major reason could be our Excuses.  Whenever things do not go our way or as we expected. When we fail to do something when we want to neglect to take certain responsibility, we end up making Excuses.

Excuses are great. They make us feel better about ourselves. They make it easier for us to digest our failed attempts and expectations by rationalizing the circumstances in our mind and in front of others. But in reality, all these excuses do is limit our abilities and we get stuck living in mediocrity. These excuses keep us stuck from taking actions that are necessary for succeeding.

Regularly practicing excuses can have a grave effect on our mental health by limiting the beliefs of our ability. We build imaginary walls in front of us and we do not look what’s on the other side. We avoid change and taking responsibilities. These keeps us locked in within our comfort zone. Our outlook towards life turns negative and in the and in the end all we are left with are regrets.

How do we get rid of this habit of frequently making excuses?

To eliminate excuses from our lives we must understand what these Excuses in reality are? Did we ever try to think them through? They are actually various fears we have like Fear of Failure, Fear of  Embarrassment, Fear of taking responsibility, Fear of change, Fear of making mistakes, Lack of resources and Lack of confidence. These fears generally come due to lack of understanding, experience, support, and resources.

We make excuses because we have that option. But what if there isn’t any option other than dealing with our fears and taking necessary action?  We need to be mindful about the excuses we make, understand the underlying fear and the feeling behind it. We need to deal with them in order to curb the habit. Initially, it may suck up your mental peace and calm. But it is necessary. When we make it a habit to deal with our fears and avoid making excuses, we become more confident and our abilities expand. We learn to accept change for good and take responsibilities. We begin to believe in endless possibilities and feel higher of our abilities. We thoughtfully make better judgments and have lesser regrets as a result.

I am listing down below few common excuses, the underlying fear, and the actions we should take:

Sr # Common Excuses Underlying Fear

Necessary Actions

1 I have tried it before, it doesn’t work Lack of confidence in ability

Giving up instantly

Seek for help or try to research for an alternative solution to the situation
2 I don’t have enough knowledge, experience or resources Lack of knowledge and experience where to start and what resources are needed

Fear of not being ready

Set your goals first and Resources would populate on their own when you build the action plan
3 Economy is bad/ The Job Market is bad Negative perception of external factors Do not believe everything that you hear on social media

Explore for options and alternatives

4 I’m don’t have time. Inability to manage time Identify important priority tasks and do them first.

Eliminate the aspects and activities that are unnecessary.

5 I can’t-do this Fear of failure Identify what you lack which could lead to failure and work on it

Take action

6 I’ll get to it later Fear of taking  responsibility Accept Responsibilities as they come without delaying them
7 It’s  too hard for me Lack of confidence and fear of getting out of comfort zone. Do difficult tasks first and do them regularly.

Trust your ability

8 I don’t know the right people Lack contacts and connection Find ways to network with people who can be resourceful to you. Attend networking events

These just a few excuses to name. There are a lot more excuses. All we need to do is understand the fear or feeling behind it and take necessary actions and remembering that making excuses is not an option.

Don’t look for excuses to lose. Look for excuses to win – Chi Chi Rodriguez