Posted in Change and Challenges, Happiness, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

8 tips on how to quit comparing yourself with others

Let’s admit we all are guilty of comparison. We do it every day and we do it frequently. It is extremely difficult not to compare when you live in the world where you are surrounded by so many people who only want to show their best foot forward.

Has it happened to you? You logged in to social media and immediately images pop up of someone who has recently been on a vacation that you wanted to go. Or someone who is having a blast on weekend?

What did you do? How did you feel? Did you say something about it in your mind? I’m sure you did. I do it too. And then I feel bad, jealous or resentful.

When we compare ourselves to others we are looking at what we don’t have, or what we are not able to do. And that is one straight path to Misery Land, which my friend is totally opposite to the La La Land.

But then if it’s that bad how do we stop comparing ourselves to others? Here are 8 steps on how to stop comparing yourself to others:

  1. Focus on what you have: The first thing is we need to do is look at our life inventory and list everything that we have. A family to care, a steady job, a roof to live under etc.
  2. Look at someone who’s not been lucky: The next good way to feel content is look at someone who’s not been that lucky and has to struggle with family, for food, at job etc. When you look at then your problems seem petty.
  3. Practice Gratitude: Now that you have a list of everything that you have be thankful for it. You’ll notice when you start doing this you’ll find more and more things to be grateful for.
  4. Remember comparing is senseless: We all have a different life and we deal with different situations. We don’t know about others journey or struggles. So how can everything we have be same?
  5. Do not measure a fish for it’s ability to fly: If we judge ourselves for something that we are clearly not capable to do, we are setting ourselves up for failure. We can expect a fish to swim and not fly. So let’s focus on our abilities instead of incapabilities
  6. Remember social media is a lie: Often times we get triggered to compare when we are on social media randomly scrolling through the feed. But remember most of us only post the best of our moments often times with filters and editing. Go for social media detox and only use it purposefully. You’ll feel much better and lighter.
  7. Avoid conversations that could trigger: Other then social media stay away from conversations that could lead to comparison. Be it about your or someone’s life, salary or something else. It’s extremely difficult due to social etiquettes however try as much as possible.
  8. Remember your time will come: Today might not be the day that you have the things that you desire but there will be one day for sure. Just fucus on that and stay persistent. Slowly and steadily you’ll have everything that you want. You’ll do everything that you desire and you’ll be with everyone that you want to be with.

Cheers.

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Happiness, Letting Go, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

The art of Self Love!!!

When I was in school, I went through a very bad phase until I reached 7th grade.Most of my classmates were children of rich and famous in my hometown. My classmates would not eat lunch with me because I was not from their socio economic status. They would not be with me as my clothes didn’t look as polished as them. They would not sit besides me and often times they bullied me and made me feel pathetic about my self. Almost everyday I ate alone and the feeling was miserable.

That phase left a black mark in my head. It made me feel worthless and it stopped me from loving myself until recently. It was really hard for me, to accept appreciation from someone because my subconscious mind was not used to it. I’d straight up say you are joking right?

It also stopped me from accepting love and care from others. I’d always think I need to do things for others for them to be with me otherwise I don’t deserve them.

This also affected me adversely in my career. As I did not push hard for the promotion I should have got or asked for a better hike because I felt I didn’t deserve.

I’d look at myself in the mirror and hate my self for how I looked and trust me, I looked much! much!! much!! better then how I look now. Yet, I always managed to find flaws in my self and feel sad for that.

But as they say, everything has a saturation point. When you reach that point, you start believing in the art of not giving a f–k. I did too. After dealing with a lot of nonsense in my life time and again. I realized I was being the self sabotage that was not allowing me grow. So I decided I’d start practicing self love.

Practicing self love is extremely important. Because if we don’t love ourselves we cannot expect others to love us the way we want.

Here how I started practicing self love and you can too:

  • First and foremost forgive yourself and circumstances.
  • Look inside your self and embrace yourself for who you authentically are. And be that.
  • Start a self care routine by sleeping 8 hrs everyday, working out regularly, eating good food, meditating, giving your self a good massage or spa treat, etc.
  • Be mindful about your feelings and Journal them regularly. At times self love may not be easy. If you write down your feelings you may feel lighter and charged to continue
  • Practice gratitude and be thankful for everything you have in life.
  • Make a list of everything that you love about your self and go through it regularly.
  • At the end of everyday review your achievements and wins for the day. This would give you a feeling if accomplishment.

You can include all of these or add others that you feel can be beneficial for you. But start slow and be patient.

You’ll slowly start seeing the benefits of practicing self love. You’ll be more happy and cheerful and more accepting towards love.

So don’t forget to go in front of the mirror and say it to your self. I love you. You are fabulous and perfect. You deserve love and everything special in this world.

Happy Self Love to you.

Posted in Change and Challenges, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

What happens when you don’t take action?

Dreams are a big part of everyone’s life. We all imagine to be somewhere, to be better that today, to be at a better place than we are today. But sadly not all of us End up fulfilling those dreams.

What could be it? What makes those few people different from the rest? Is it that they’ve been gifted with special powers? Well that’s questionable. If there’s one thing that separates them from the rest is that they dream and take actions to fulfill those dreams

There are millions of self help books that can show you how to be successful, but they won’t help unless we take actions necessary for it.

Let’s annalise a hypothetical situation:

Say you work for a multinational corporate which pays you decent enough. But then you are not happy. You are not interested in working in a corporate, having round the clock shifts working to fulfill someone else’s dream, or having a affixed income.

You aspire to become a renauned photographer. You want people look up to you and have your work publishedin major publications and online fanbase. You login to Instagram and there are thousands of photographers posting their best work. You aspire to be popular like them and want to work on your own terms.

But then, you also think you are not good enough. You think that you may fail. And that very thought intimidates you and you avoid taking actions you need to take.

What could happen if you fail?

To be honest the worst thing that could happen is you realize that it’s not working for you. But in the process you may find something else that interests you.

Wouldn’t it be better to have tried and failed then not having done anything about it at all?

You would never know what could happen? unless you do.

You won’t go though the thrill of doing something towards you dream

You would never learn all the lessons in the process

You will never taste success and how it feels to be a renauned photographer who is published on major publications.

You will never get to experience how it feels when people look up to you?

You will continue to doubt your self and stay at the corporate job that you don’t like anyway.

You’ll end up being resentful, hateful and unapproachable. I turn it may affect the corporate job as well.

But that’s all if you don’t take action. Visualize what would happen if you do get successul. Imagine how your life will change? And With that thought in mind take the actions and see how your life changes. In the end you’ll be content that you did something for your dreams.

 

Good luck.

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Happiness, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

This one factor can help you greatly with your Success and Mental Peace.

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We all have been through this one situation where you are asked for a favor or commitment and you end but saying Yes to it because you feel obliged to do so. But in reality, you don’t want to do it. One reason why this happens is that we feel the need to please everyone.

“Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself while trying to please everyone” – Unknown

This was very much the case with me. I felt pleasing everyone was my responsibility and in order to do that, I would say “Yes” to every favor they ask for, even if I am not in a position to do it. So often times I would end up loaded with unnecessary work which is irrelevant to me and which no one else wanted to do. Oftentimes I would end up being the dumping grown for people who want to talk about their misery and all the bad things going on in their life. This factor also hampered my financial stability after I did financial favors to others when I was myself not in a sound position. And then all of this just made me feel overwhelmed and frustrated. It just drained me physically, Mentally and Emotionally.

All of this changed the moment I learned to say this one two alphabet word “NO”.

At one point I got so overwhelmed that I took a conscious decision to start saying  “No” to things I don’t want to do.  So I slowly began to say “No” to the work-related favors that others asked if I did not feel it helped me in any way. I began to say no to people who called to talk about their problems unless they were ready to talk about finding the solution and work towards it. I began to say no to people who asked for financial favors.

I would still do favors to people when I am free or  have enough time and resources however for other times, I would just say “No Not at the moment as I have a lot of work” or “I am Busy at the  moment ill get back to you when I am free” I do not have money at the moment”

With just this one step now I had enough time for my self. I had enough time to spend with people that loved and also do things that were fruitful for me. I was not overwhelmed anymore. I was not being physically mentally and emotionally drained. I had better control over my finances as it was not being controlled by external factors.

If you have been feeling like I was, its high time that you start to say “No” to things that you don’t want to do. Not only will this help you in every aspect of life to make it better but it will also help you to manage it better. If you fear that you would lose people that are dear to you, then fear not.  As only the people who actually wanted to use you and your resources would leave. The people who genuinely care for you would understand and not get affected by it.

 

I hope you loved this article. I would be glad to hear from you in the comments section below. Also please follow my blog for regular updates when I post new articles.

Peace and Love 🙂 Alkarim