Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Are you lying to your self?

Do you feel animated or inauthentic sometimes?

Do you feel like you are running away from something?

Have you encountered a situation where where your mind wants to do something but your heart says the other?

Have you encountered yourself justifying the behavior of others or your self?

Chances are, you my friend, are lying to yourself without even knowing it.

Let me explain with a few examples:

I love iPhone I feel it brings in sense of class and elegance. It gives that rich luxury feeling that we all love. But it is expensive and I don’t feel like spending that hefty sum of money on it. So I tell my self and others I don’t like it and I don’t want it.

I have put on a lot of weight recently It’s been due to me not taking care of my self, eating crap outside and doing alternate work shifts. But when someone points it out to me I get defensive and give that person some Gyan about self love and acceptance stating that I love my self the way I am etc.

But the truth is, I do want an iPhone. I do feel like crap because of my weight and body issues and I am actually not doing anything about it .

The above are just two examples. We do this to our self everyday. Most of us do it because we don’t like facing reality. We are ok to live in a dillustional world because it feels comfortable and makes us feel good about our selves. It helps us to avoid doing anything that is uncomfortable and make it convenient.

That short moment of comfort can give us life time of troubles. Living in the dillustional world like this can not only make us less mentally and emotionally connected and unclear. We begin to feel the side effects in the form of fear, anxiety, panic attacks, emotional eating, anger, racentfulness and making us less approachable. We don’t feel like an honest person or our authentic self and in the end we begin to even avoid having a conversation about it.

Here’s what we can do to get ourselves off of this:

  • We become more self aware.
  • We love our self.
  • We become in tune with our emotions and confront the exact fear.
  • We be open to opinions from friends and family.
  • We dig deep within our mind and find out the exact want?
  • Take actions

So If you want an iPhone, identify what’s stopping you from buying it and take necessary action like saving some money etc.

If it’s your health, figure out what you need to do to get back to your healthy and fit self. Start with taking small steps and move stronger as you get closer to your goal.

Apply the same to all the lies that you tell yourself and others. It’s going to be difficult for sure but then does anything that is good for us come easy?

Every step you take will move you towards a better, more authentic, happy and approachable self.

So start with this simple question

Are you lying to yourself self” If the answer is yes, do something about it.

Posted in Belief, Happiness, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

HAPPINESS is a choice. It’s you who decides what to choose?

There is a viral pic Facebook which you may or may not seen. In the photo three kids standing on the podium after a race ranking 1st 2nd and 3rd. In that pic the boy that came 3rd is extremely happy and is showing off the small trophy that he received. On the other hand the girl on 1st position is seen crying though she has a bigger trophy and clearly won. This pic had a quote “Happiness is a Choice.”

The pic resonated with me but I did not pay much attention to it until one day when I got stuck in rain while on my way to work. It was bright and sunny when I started for work on my bike. Except the slow moving traffic everything seemed absolutely fine until a chain of dark clouds covered the sun and soon started pouring like cats and dogs.

Everything fine then changed to ugly and unpleasant. I had to stop by a shade under the bridge near a traffic signal. I was so not prepared for the rain and was furious that I got drenched and that I’d be late for office. Just next to me there were a few homeless kids playing. They were dancing and playing in the water enjoying the rain. One kid in between raised his hands wide open facing up towards the sky while circling around.

That very action brought back a slow motion visual of my younger self when I did the same. I enjoyed the rain so much back then that I called Rainy season my favorite season. And till date I remember Everytime it rained, I used to run to the terrace and raise my hand the same way and look up in the sky to embrace the beautiful rain.

Coming back to that day, the kid looked so happy and was living in the moment with no sign of any worry what so ever. And on the other hand I was looking all grumpy just until I saw him doing that thing which made me realize it’s just me. It is my choice for how I feel during any given situation. I now could relate to the pic I spoke about earlier.

I then started my bike and headed to work slowly riding and enjoying the lovely rain drops falling on my face. I had a big smile on my face and was filled with joy. I wasn’t bothered about the discomfort getting drenched would cause later. What mattered in that moment was I relived my childhood happiness without caring of anything else.

What I want to convey from this is that it is our choice on how we respond to any given situation. It may be same for someone else as well. How we respond, desides the emotion that comes out of it. So look at the bright side and choose Happiness Everytime you can.

Stay Happy ! Stay Cheerful!!

Posted in Belief, Change and Challenges, Happiness, Letting Go, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

The art of Self Love!!!

When I was in school, I went through a very bad phase until I reached 7th grade.Most of my classmates were children of rich and famous in my hometown. My classmates would not eat lunch with me because I was not from their socio economic status. They would not be with me as my clothes didn’t look as polished as them. They would not sit besides me and often times they bullied me and made me feel pathetic about my self. Almost everyday I ate alone and the feeling was miserable.

That phase left a black mark in my head. It made me feel worthless and it stopped me from loving myself until recently. It was really hard for me, to accept appreciation from someone because my subconscious mind was not used to it. I’d straight up say you are joking right?

It also stopped me from accepting love and care from others. I’d always think I need to do things for others for them to be with me otherwise I don’t deserve them.

This also affected me adversely in my career. As I did not push hard for the promotion I should have got or asked for a better hike because I felt I didn’t deserve.

I’d look at myself in the mirror and hate my self for how I looked and trust me, I looked much! much!! much!! better then how I look now. Yet, I always managed to find flaws in my self and feel sad for that.

But as they say, everything has a saturation point. When you reach that point, you start believing in the art of not giving a f–k. I did too. After dealing with a lot of nonsense in my life time and again. I realized I was being the self sabotage that was not allowing me grow. So I decided I’d start practicing self love.

Practicing self love is extremely important. Because if we don’t love ourselves we cannot expect others to love us the way we want.

Here how I started practicing self love and you can too:

  • First and foremost forgive yourself and circumstances.
  • Look inside your self and embrace yourself for who you authentically are. And be that.
  • Start a self care routine by sleeping 8 hrs everyday, working out regularly, eating good food, meditating, giving your self a good massage or spa treat, etc.
  • Be mindful about your feelings and Journal them regularly. At times self love may not be easy. If you write down your feelings you may feel lighter and charged to continue
  • Practice gratitude and be thankful for everything you have in life.
  • Make a list of everything that you love about your self and go through it regularly.
  • At the end of everyday review your achievements and wins for the day. This would give you a feeling if accomplishment.

You can include all of these or add others that you feel can be beneficial for you. But start slow and be patient.

You’ll slowly start seeing the benefits of practicing self love. You’ll be more happy and cheerful and more accepting towards love.

So don’t forget to go in front of the mirror and say it to your self. I love you. You are fabulous and perfect. You deserve love and everything special in this world.

Happy Self Love to you.

Posted in Belief, Dreams and Destiny, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

Learn to disappoint – You don’t need to be a people pleaser all the time

People Pleasing by definition it self means changing ourselves for others just to feel a sense of belonging, to impress others, to get others approval, to not disappoint them and make them happy.

If we read above definition carefully, everything we are doing is for others.

Almost everyday we take hundreds of selfies, but only post the one or two we feel would get the most number of likes.

Often times at work, as I referred in my previous blogs, we tend to over commit only to be in good light of someone, even when we didn’t have the feasibility and wanted to say no.

We have a lot of clothes in our closet, yet choosing what to wear for an event gives us jitters.

Often times we go against our will and do certain things like choosing career that we don’t like just because our parents think it’s safe and better for us.

A lot of us go though a phase in life which leads us to believe we need to be people pleasing all the time because we don’tont want to disappoint them or in order to be with them, for them to like or respect us.

Does it help? It rarely does. Rather it make those people we are trying to impress loose the respect they had for us because we couldn’t take a stand. At times they tend to use us for their own good. And in the end if we fail, they’d be disappointed anyways

Whats more important than caring about others is, we take a look inside ourselves. Because from inside we feel miserable since we are not doing what our hearts feels is right for us. This makes us further less confident and strengthens our beliefs that someone will only stay in our lives or we will only get success at work, if we behave a certain way or do certain things.

But that’s not true. You don’t need to be doing that all the time. You don’t need to impress others, you don’t need to pick a career or a job that you don’t like,You don’t need to dress to impress others

All you need to to is impress your self, and make yourself happy and content.
So it’s ok to disappoint others
Its ok if you say no to things you don’t want to do.
It’s ok if you want to wear a loose fitting dress at the party.
It’s ok to leave a job or career that you don’t like.
It’s ok to leave if someone is not willing to accept you the way you are.

Just be you and be happy 😊 because that’s what matters the most!!