Posted in Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know the science of Expectations and Happiness? READ ALONG

Expectations are pre concieved belief of something to happen a certain way. As a human we all tend to expect. We expect for our life to be a certain way. We expect certain people to behave as per our expectations. Some expectations are reasonable, but a lot of times the expectations are unrealistic.

We have always been told by our elders to expect less or have no expectations at all. Why is it so? Well! They are saying that out of their experience. Because often times what we expect does not really happen. Our lives does not always take the turn we expect it should. Nor do people always do what we expect them to. And when that happens we become upset and depressed. We start being resentful about the situation and people involved.

But is that going to help? Absolutely not. All it’s going to do is hurt you further. Then what can you do to better deal with such situations?

Here’s what you can do:

  • Always make it a point to not expect anything from people or events in your life. When you’ll have no expectations, you won’t feel bad any longer. A quote from Steve Hawkins below aptly describes this.

“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”

-Stephen Hawking

  • Now let’s imagine there are situation where you do expect something. Make it a point to express the expectations it take action. For example you expect to eat a cake today. So you either need to order it or make it yourself. If you are expecting someone to get cake for you, you need to let them know. Also make sure the other person is happy do do it for you. Unless you do either of the two the cake is not going to magically appear in front of you.

The same case is applicable in every expectations we have. The more we follow this principal in all walks of our life, the more peaceful, happy and content we will be.

I am really glad you read it all the way. If you liked it please hit the star button and leave a comment. It will help us reach more people and you will make my day.

Thanks have a great day.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

How “Fake it till you make it” mantra elevates your game of success?

I went to an event sometime ago which was organized by a few millennials who found some success in their startup venture. In the event they shared their success stories and experiences. After that they had an open floor for networking.

The main reason I went to the event was to meet like minded people and make valuable connections. When I went in I was fine, but by the time the experience share part was over and the floor was open for networking, my lack of confidence got the best of me.

I stood there at the corner like an idiot while others were actually meeting everyone and even connecting with the speakers. I was waiting for someone to come and talk to me which did happen but not too much avail. I left from the event feeling like an absolute failure.

When I came home I was browsing YouTube and I came across a video about a man who faked himself into I believe Milan fashion week by pretending to be a big clothing brand which actually was a regular street brand which he didn’t own. I immediately thought why don’t I give it a try.

I registered myself for the next networking event. And there I was pretending to be an absolutely confident charmer going to everyone asking questions getting to know them. By the end of the event I managed to exchange contacts with about 10 people. That was a big a achievement for me.

Here are a few things I did that day:

  • I practiced a fake smile
  • I practiced confident postures
  • I imagined myself as outgoing
  • I imagined my self as a winner
  • I imagined myself as desirable
  • I dressed myself for success
  • I pushed myself into action

Let me tell you it was not easy. It was really scary at the beginning as my mind was not ready to accept me as something I’m not. But when I began to combine all of the above together and practiced it, I was able to pull the act.

How does that work?

When you fake something as if it’s a part of you, it will make your mind start believing it and then the mind releases the feel good hormones which will in turn make you more confident.

When you fake, you make others believe that you have more to offer. This way they become keen on know more about you and there by it helps you make your way yo success.

A word of caution though, when you fake, be reasonable. When you try to fake something extremely out of the line, you actually making it clear to everyone that you are faking and it won’t help

Also when you fake something be sure to work towards fulfilling it as no one likes someone who cannot show the gold pair of shoes he says he has.

So if you dearly want something try and pretend you already have it

To be happy, smile and believe you are happy

To make more friends, appear friendly

To get the job promotion you want, project you have what it takes to succeed in the job.

Just give it a try, start simple and I’m sure you will see a ton of difference it would make in your life.

Good luck.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Letting Go, Mindfullness, Work and Life Fultilment

Want to know What happens when you write down your feelings ? YOU WILL BE SURPRISED.

Have you had those days when you are pissed or upset for no apparent reason? Nothing significant has happened yet you are grumpy and ready to trigger!

I have had similar days quite a lot of times. And on those days, my mother says I better wear a sign stating “TRIGGER MODE ON. MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE.”

It’s funny but true. Because when someone is in that trigger zone, he or she will get easily cranked up and blast at who ever triggered him or her for even the most silly reason.

But do you know why that happens? Well! The reason could be you are not paying that much attention on our selves. When you don’t pay attention to our selves and our feelings, you actually are suppressing them instead of acknowledging. And then when you continue to do that for some time, those emotions and feelings get piled up and begin to trigger you when it reaches the saturation point.

This is where journaling or writing down our feelings can come to your rescue. Simply put you sit down in a quite place and write down everything that you are feeling at that moment. It need not necessarily be on a book. You can also write it down in a notepad in your phone, laptop or tablet. The more detailed it is the better. You can also decide the time when you would sit down and journal at your convenience.

It may be very difficult at first and it may look like you are re-living the trigger but my advice is that you continue writing everything that you are feeling. Slowly a few minutes and a few pages later you’ll see a totally different perspective.

You will soon feel more relaxed and content.

You will get a sense of acceptance to your current situation and state of mind.

You will become more aware of your emotions and how your body and mind is feeling.

It helps you subside your pent up anger and negative thoughts and you’ll look at any situation with a different mindset.

It helps you reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress. Thereby improving your state of mental well being.

It promotes positive thoughts and a feeling of gratitude.

It helps your overall well being by encouraging you to take care of your self by eating good food, exercising and sleeping well.

It makes you more friendly and easy to approach.

The benefits are a ton. It’s just on when and how you start and continue it for a long time. Remember that this journal is for you and you only and be open to pour out every emotion in it.

I wish you good luck and hope you see all the positive benefits.

Happy Journaling.

Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Belief, Happiness, Love and Relationship, Mindfullness, Passion and Meaning, Work and Life Fultilment

What is self esteem? How to increase your self-esteem?

Self-Esteem is an extremely important factor for every human being. The track you take in life is mostly decided by your perceived value of yourself. It’s the self-esteem that decides if you will have any situation head on with confidence or or respond with panic and curl yourself in a cocoon.

A lot of us develop low self esteem due to bad experiences like being bullied at school or dealing with prolonged criticism, bad relationship etc. The low self esteem negatively affect us making us feel not good enough,depressed, hurt, anxious, guilty and frustrated.

We all go through regular ups and downs in life but if we have high self esteem we can face the given situation properly. For people with low self esteem it may be all the difference.

But here’s the good news you can always develop your self confidence with a few slow but steady practices. Let me list a few for you that you can start with:

  1. Practice positive self talk. This helps you quiet the inner critic. You can also write a compassionate letter to your self.
  2. Take care of yourself. Eat good food, workout regularly and sleep well
  3. Practice positive visualization. Close your eyes and visualize how your life is changing positively. The more detailed the better.
  4. Help others or solve a problem. This helps developing a feeling of accomplishment and boosts your confidence.
  5. Set small goals that are achievable and take action. Reward your self for the accomplishments
  6. Connect with the higher power. This brings a flow of positivity in your live making you feel someone is there looking after you.
  7. Try creative ways to express yourself like painting, action monologues, music,poems,etc
  8. Do social service. This give you a sense of worth and boosts confidence

Good luck