We all have been through this one situation where you are asked for a favor or commitment and you end but saying Yes to it because you feel obliged to do so. But in reality, you don’t want to do it. One reason why this happens is that we feel the need to please everyone.
“Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself while trying to please everyone” – Unknown
This was very much the case with me. I felt pleasing everyone was my responsibility and in order to do that, I would say “Yes” to every favor they ask for, even if I am not in a position to do it. So often times I would end up loaded with unnecessary work which is irrelevant to me and which no one else wanted to do. Oftentimes I would end up being the dumping grown for people who want to talk about their misery and all the bad things going on in their life. This factor also hampered my financial stability after I did financial favors to others when I was myself not in a sound position. And then all of this just made me feel overwhelmed and frustrated. It just drained me physically, Mentally and Emotionally.
All of this changed the moment I learned to say this one two alphabet word “NO”.
At one point I got so overwhelmed that I took a conscious decision to start saying “No” to things I don’t want to do. So I slowly began to say “No” to the work-related favors that others asked if I did not feel it helped me in any way. I began to say no to people who called to talk about their problems unless they were ready to talk about finding the solution and work towards it. I began to say no to people who asked for financial favors.
I would still do favors to people when I am free or have enough time and resources however for other times, I would just say “No Not at the moment as I have a lot of work” or “I am Busy at the moment ill get back to you when I am free” I do not have money at the moment”
With just this one step now I had enough time for my self. I had enough time to spend with people that loved and also do things that were fruitful for me. I was not overwhelmed anymore. I was not being physically mentally and emotionally drained. I had better control over my finances as it was not being controlled by external factors.
If you have been feeling like I was, its high time that you start to say “No” to things that you don’t want to do. Not only will this help you in every aspect of life to make it better but it will also help you to manage it better. If you fear that you would lose people that are dear to you, then fear not. As only the people who actually wanted to use you and your resources would leave. The people who genuinely care for you would understand and not get affected by it.
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Peace and Love 🙂 Alkarim